I’ve got a funny feeling that these ‘Phases’ never end.
We’re now just over 4 years in and Corben continues to go through and in some cases invent all different phases. When does it end? Each phase carefully constructed to push you right over the limit then BOOM! They move swiftly onto the next phase of terror.
Here’s a breakdown of some of the phases we’ve had to deal with…
Nipping – This was one of the first ones that was pretty bad, as in violent. He was still really little but packed a decent nip. Your face, your leg, anything in front of him he was nipping. This kid’s nip was like a vice!
Biting – Because he clearly didn’t get enough attention from nipping, he escalated to biting. Same method of attack, different weapon. Face, leg, neck, hand, he didn’t care, he was sinking all 3 teeth into you like I would a medium cooked steak.
Spitting – Definitely the worst phase yet, by a long way. I can’t stand spitting it’s disgusting and this phase definitely tested me more than the others. He would spit out food, drinks and just spit in general. At one point if you said something he didn’t like he would just spit at you, on the floor wherever, whenever. How do you stop that?! What we found is you have to grit your teeth, get through it as best you can and it will pass. No it will. Honest. Eventually.
Hairdresser – For ages, maybe even until he was over 3, he loved playing with hair. In fact, even now when it’s bedtime he will either twiddle with his own hair or Donetta’s to help him drop off. It wasn’t always so cute sounding though… Twiddling used to be pulling. He seemed to love just pulling people’s hair. Not the worst phase he’s had, until we were in public around other kids and there’d be a child screaming and Corb stood there with a clump of hair in his hand!
Eating – There’s loads of tips out there about trying to ease the frustrations of meal times with your kids. However most of them we just don’t have time for, or simply don’t work for our kid. He’s gone through all sorts of phases when it comes to food. He won’t eat cereal for breakfast, only dinner and tea. He will eat dinner but not tea, vice versa. If you say ‘do you want your tea’ he will say no, however change it to, ‘do you want meat and veg’ for example, and it’s a yes! Kids can be soo peculiar and strange.
Oh there’s the one phase, that when he’d had enough of his meal, he would tip his plate upside down on the floor. Yeah I know. Every meal for so many weeks he would eat half then basically think he was somehow keeping us in a job by making a shit load of mess!
Hat & Bag – Back in the days when getting him out of the house was only at medium level of difficulty, the usual wriggling around when getting dressed and having to just do one more lap of the house without pants on, he would require only 2 things. Iron Man hat and Mr Tumbles spotty bag. We had to buy 3 Iron Man hats and 2 spotty bags before this phase passed. We would go out and people would say, ‘Aww that’s a lovely hat’ and ‘That’s a nice bag you have’, yet there were absolutely battered! His hat was falling to pieces and the yellow bag was definitely not yellow anymore!
We had to be strategic and pick the right moment to introduce the updated items, which didn’t work either, he always knew.
Going out – This is the most recent of phases. We’ve gone from going out with minimal fuss almost everyday, to now having a full blown meltdown whenever we need to go anywhere! ‘ I don’t want to go out, I just want to stay home and play’, this is his daily response. Once we get to wherever we’re going he loves it. Then the next day comes and we’re back to square one. Imagine trying to dress a Tiger in Lady Gaga’s meat dress, well that’s what it’s like trying to dress Corb.
This post could go on for days, even weeks. There’s loads of little phases he’s gone through, some that probably vanished as quick as they appeared. These are some of the more common one’s I’d say. At least I’d like to think the majority of kids go through most of these phases. If they don’t please let me know!!
Has your kid ticked all these phases off, going through them right now or have any others I haven’t mentioned? Let me know in the comments, see you online @dadvworld