‘So then Mum, Dad, which of us children is your favourite then?’
Hi everyone, how are you all?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a question I hear daily in our house. It’s fascinating listening to Corben and his older sisters interact. One thing I hear constantly from his sisters Kiera, 13 and Abi, 12 is…
‘Which one is your favourite?’
‘Who is your favourite?’
Now it’s usually all innocent. They’re talking about a new TV show with many characters, or his superhero figures. However, it’s been playing on my mind lately that the more I hear him being quizzed about choosing a single favourite from many things, the more I really don’t like this need to have favourites.
It’s the same for the girls too. I often hear them talking about the latest Netflix series and deciding which character is their favourite from the different shows. That then escalates into asking us parents who’s our favourite this that and the other.
Why do we have to have a favourite?!
I see that this is all very innocent and naturally as humans it seems, we are attracted to certain characters, flavours and anything else that has many options and we then adopt them/that as our favourites.
My problem at the minute is that I don’t want Corben to feel he has to choose a favourite something in every sector of his life. The girls are at high school now and it seems picking a favourite musician, food, clothing brand and even friend is so important.
‘But you have to have a favourite’ one of them said to me last week!
OK, but where’s the line? Sure I have a favourite go to meal, Spag Bol! However when I hear my 5 year old being asked who his favourite friend is out of his many little cool mates, I can’t help but think it’s not a healthy thing to be getting into.
Maybe it’s OK to have favourite inanimate objects, foods and even TV characters but I really don’t like any of the kids deciding on their favourite real life people. This struck a cord when Corben started telling me which of his grandparents was his favourite and that he loves them the most. This isn’t right for me. I want him to grow up with the ethos that you love all of your family equally and you certainly don’t have favourite grandparents that all love you as much as the other.
Similar with his friends. I know that children naturally bond with other certain children better than they might others. But, do we really need our children to actively go around revealing their favourite friend to all of the others…
I’m struggling to see where the line is.
How do you explain to a 5 year old that having a favourite superhero is fine, but having a favourite sister isn’t.
Saying Salt and Vinegar crisps are your favourite flavour crisps is fine, explaining to Grandad X that you like Grandad Y the best is NOT.
‘Why?’ Will be the natural response to this…
What do you think, have you dealt with this type of thing yet and if so HOW?
Let me know down in the comments and I’ll see you online @dadvworld
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