My reasons for not wanting another child may seem ridiculous to you, however I know myself and they’re very valid in my mind.
The main reason I don’t want another child is because I love the ones I have too much. The thought of loving another kid as much as I do the current ones seems impossible. As you regular readers will know, Kiera and Abi are my step-daughters, a term I hate to use but that’s the recognised term. To me, they’re just my daughters. This is relevant because you may be thinking, ‘You’ve had 3 already’, not quite.
Talking from a biological parenting point of view, something literally changed my entire mind-set when Corben was born. I just can’t imagine that kind of feeling happening again as intensely. I’ve said this out-loud before and was laughed at. Fair enough because common sense tells you that you can obviously replicate that unbreakable bond otherwise people wouldn’t ever have more than one child. Nevertheless, I’m not bothered about testing the theory.
My next reason is that quite simply, I don’t want to have to share my love or my time with another person. I understand that your love can extend and is or can be infinite. However time just isn’t. Time doesn’t care how much you love someone, or who you are, time is relentless and stops for no-one. Thus every second spent with one child is a second you can’t spend with the others. We have a good balance with how our family dynamics are currently but still who doesn’t want or even need more time, we do!
I’m absolutely content with what I have. We have 2 girls and 1 boy. Some people would kill for 1 child, we have 3. Some would love a girl or a boy, we have both. If Corben had been a girl my mindset wouldn’t have been this way I’m sure of it. I think I convinced myself during the early stages of our pregnancy that already having 2 girls, the baby would have to be a boy to make our family feel complete. He was and now we’re complete. Had he been a girl I would definitely have wanted to try again because I’d have this feeling that something was missing. I’m not saying parents have favourites, but I think deep down all Dad’s given the option would choose to have a son. Also Mum’s would chose a girl wouldn’t they? – I know you say ‘As long as they’re healthy I don’t care’, that goes without saying but disregard that and I reckon everyone would have a specific preference.
Resources are another factor. I’d rather give all I currently have to the kids we have now, adding to the family numbers would just stretch us further, mainly financially. Why choose to do that? Doesn’t make sense to me.
Anyway, these are my reasons, what I would like to know is what are your reasons, or do you in fact want more?
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