Why I don’t want another child.

Why I don’t want another child.

My reasons for not wanting another child may seem ridiculous to you, however I know myself and they’re very valid in my mind. 

The main reason I don’t want another child is because I love the ones I have too much. The thought of loving another kid as much as I do the current ones seems impossible. As you regular readers will know, Kiera and Abi are my step-daughters, a term I hate to use but that’s the recognised term. To me, they’re just my daughters. This is relevant because you may be thinking, ‘You’ve had 3 already’, not quite.

Talking from a biological parenting point of view, something literally changed my entire mind-set when Corben was born. I just can’t imagine that kind of feeling happening again as intensely. I’ve said this out-loud before and was laughed at. Fair enough because common sense tells you that you can obviously replicate that unbreakable bond otherwise people wouldn’t ever have more than one child. Nevertheless, I’m not bothered about testing the theory.

My next reason is that quite simply, I don’t want to have to share my love or my time with another person. I understand that your love can extend and is or can be infinite. However time just isn’t. Time doesn’t care how much you love someone, or who you are, time is relentless and stops for no-one. Thus every second spent with one child is a second you can’t spend with the others. We have a good balance with how our family dynamics are currently but still who doesn’t want or even need more time, we do!

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I’m absolutely content with what I have. We have 2 girls and 1 boy. Some people would kill for 1 child, we have 3. Some would love a girl or a boy, we have both. If Corben had been a girl my mindset wouldn’t have been this way I’m sure of it. I think I convinced myself during the early stages of our pregnancy that already having 2 girls, the baby would have to be a boy to make our family feel complete. He was and now we’re complete. Had he been a girl I would definitely have wanted to try again because I’d have this feeling that something was missing. I’m not saying parents have favourites, but I think deep down all Dad’s given the option would choose to have a son. Also Mum’s would chose a girl wouldn’t they? – I know you say ‘As long as they’re healthy I don’t care’, that goes without saying but disregard that and I reckon everyone would have a specific preference.

Resources are another factor. I’d rather give all I currently have to the kids we have now, adding to the family numbers would just stretch us further, mainly financially. Why choose to do that? Doesn’t make sense to me.

Anyway, these are my reasons, what I would like to know is what are your reasons, or do you in fact want more?

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8 thoughts on “Why I don’t want another child.”

  • I completely understand your reasoning. I have two kids and that’s it. I said from the get-go that two kids was the limit as that’s the number I thought I could cope with. I don’t have space, money, time nor patience to add a third into the mix. Whilst there’s no doubt I would love another one just as much as I love the girls because like you say, love is infinte… but time isn’t.

    Reckon you may need to try and book an appointment with Cleopatra again… get this time issue sorted once and for all!

    • She’s having none of it. Time is remaining unstoppable and unchangeable. 3 and out for us and I couldn’t be happier.

      Thanks as always for reading, I really appreciate it 🙂

  • For me 3 were enough. We had given them 100% I had in terms of career, care, money and love. We wanted to continue giving them all these at the same level. Another kid would have skewed the balance. We were aging and another kid would have taken a toll on our health.

    • I agree, I think each family knows their own balance. It sounds like you certainly knew what was best for your family. It can be tricky but if everyone is reading from the same page and the family is happy what else could you want?! 🙂

  • I understand your reasons, it makes sense, not that it really matters whether it makes sense to me!
    We only have one child at the moment (7mo girl). All I know at this stage is that I want more. I love having her and I want to surround myself with more of her. I think I can see myself with 4, but I also know that I won’t actually know until the time comes. Let’s see how we can handle two first!

    • Haha! I imagine I may have felt different had Donetta not already had the girls when I met her. Obviously I couldn’t say because that’s not the case. I guess I feel complete now so that’s that. I kind of have 3 for the price of 1. (If only that was true in monetary terms!!!)

  • Totally get your second point – time is already at a premium and I think having another kid would detract from Toddler L. I don’t want that to be the case. End of the day, your reasons are your reasons and all totally valid!

    • Thanks for commenting Dave. Yeah it would really worry me if I had to have less time with the boy. I already have to share the girls with their Dad and school so feels like I never see them. Add another kid, I don’t know what we’d do and that’s not fair. – As far as I know I don’t have to worry about this anyway lol.

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