I’m a parent aren’t I. I mean that’s what defines me now, if ever I needed to describe my main role in life, I’m a parent.
My role within the family now, is to serve and protect everyone within my household. I’m the biggest, the strongest and leader of my pack. Obviously our family is run 50/50 between Donetta and I, but in a physical, masculine sense I take on the role as protector. That’s our family dynamics, not that I’d ever want to be on Donetta’s bad side, jeez! So I concentrate on my role and take every aspect of it seriously, I want to be the best parent I can be. I concentrate on it so much I forget I’m also still a son.
I’ve written a number of articles The Transition and I vs We for example, discussing the changes that occur when changing from a man to a Dad. However it’s never occurred to me that when you become a parent and have a child of your own, your role as a son is altered and your own parents need to adjust to becoming parents and grandparents! Wow, one new life entering the family literally does change everything.
I think for me, the main changes are that no one really comes to visit me anymore, the son. They of course come to see the kids, their grandchildren. They’ll tell you that’s not the case but seriously it is and I’m fine with that, who wouldn’t want to see Corbens little face!! So what is this strange grey area, a no-mans land I’ve found myself in? I’ve gone from ultimate importance as a son, to key-holder for the real prize, the golden grandchildren. Also you get this, ‘I was in the shop the other day and I saw such and such and thought (childs name) would love this’, yeah us parent/adult-children no longer get surprise off the cuff gifts, these parent/grandparents shift all that to strictly grandchildren only.
I’ve never asked our parents what it’s like transitioning from parent to grandparent, I certainly will now though. I suppose they have to alter their mind-set slightly from guiding you through everyday life, to passing on general parenting experiences. I would think too that having a grandchild is similar to having another child, only one that you can’t control as ultimately that’s your actual child’s job now.
Wow, parenting and growing up opens a minefield of thoughts.
I’d love to hear what you think? And grandparents, let me know how it alters your thought process becoming a grandparent.
As always, thanks for reading, see you online @dadvworld
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