I’M A GREAT DAD, SO WHY DO I BEAT MYSELF UP

I’M A GREAT DAD, SO WHY DO I BEAT MYSELF UP

If I have days where I beat myself up questioning every single parenting decision I’ve ever made, I’m going to assume some of you have too.

I’ve literally questioned myself into migraines some days, wondering if this decision was correct, was that decision right, what affect will X Y and Z decision have on the rest of my children’s live’s?!

On my less headachey days when I give myself a breather, or most likely something else is occupying my mind, I do know I’m a great dad. I’m present for a start. We play together, I show him love, give him attention, build his confidence and the usual things like feed him etc. That last bit should go without saying but you know what the internet is like!

I also teach him manners and try to be the best example I can be for him to follow. I tick all the boxes for all of the important things in parenting. I generally see parenting as very easy, in terms of what children actually need.

Parenting the girls is slightly different, being a step-parent is a completely different ball game.

Attention, love and kindness. If you give your child the attention they not only want but need, you love them relentlessly, should be a given, and you teach them how to be kind, you’ve won. Anything after that is a bonus but with these 3 elements alone they will be happy, you will be happy and you will have achieved Parent Level: Expert.

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With my theory of parenting being so simple, why is it I have these odd days when I question everything. Is this something that happens to all of us? Maybe because parenting is so important to me I’m desperate to get it right, which means re-evaluating things from time to time to stay on track. That’s how I’m rationalising these off days anyway.

In my heart I know that every night when I lay my head on my pillow, all I want to know in myself, is that I’ve tried my best to be the best dad and person I could have that day. I accept there will be off days, I’m not a machine, but as long as my intentions that day have all been for good, I can sleep. It helps I’m usually knackered from all this thinking too!

My point with this post is two-fold. Firstly, to find out if other parents are like me, generally know they’re smashing parenting but still question every single decision. Secondly to let you know, if you are like me, it’s OK. I believe we question ourselves and beat ourselves up so much because we want to get it right desperately.

Too much screen time, not enough vegetables, bribing them with chocolate, are all things highlighted online with many varied opinions on what’s right and what’s wrong, when in actual fact none of that is that important. Unless your ramming 17 bars of chocolate down your kids throat and haven’t seen them for 3 weeks because they’ve been in their room on the PlayStation, you’re doing OK.

I’ll add that a healthy diet and lifestyle is obviously important but what I’m saying is, don’t give yourself earache because you gave in at the supermarket and shoved them a Kinder Egg to shut them the hell up for 5 minutes!

I could have written all this and it turn out I’m alone and you’re all wondering WTF I’m banging on about, imagine that…

Thanks for reading,

David šŸ™‚

 

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2 thoughts on “I’M A GREAT DAD, SO WHY DO I BEAT MYSELF UP”

  • I’m quite similar. I’ll always reflect on stuff and see if I could have done it better or how I would change things. But I just have a 16 month old. I think only very recently have I actually started parenting. You don’t really parent a baby, you just do the basics.

    But I know you’re quite the reflective person so it’s only natural you’ll question your parenting like you think about the blog and the million other things you do šŸ˜‚

    I think the ones who doubt themselves the most are usually the ones most likely to succeed.

    • Thanks mate, I think you’re right. Constant evaluation isn’t alway a bad thing, just gives me headache. We’re always thinking, evaluating and scheming here definitely.

      I like your point about parenting too. I do think proper parenting is more the guidance and leading by example rather than feeding and changing nappies. Obviously that’s important but also anyone can do it, its just knackering! ‘Proper’ parenting is making life choices and guiding them down the right paths so when they get to the point of choosing their owns paths, they’re in the best position to do so.

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