Everyone knows the obvious response of ‘As long as they’re healthy I really don’t care’ and that really should go without saying. But, is it OK to be hoping for a specific gender?
I’ll be straight up honest and tell you that once the shock had passed when discovering we were pregnant, I did hope for a boy. Some people are shocked when I admit this and others don’t get it, they reel off that famous sentence mentioned above. But, it’s how I felt, right up until about 16 weeks when we paid to find out early, I knew inside I was hoping there was a little tally-whacker on that first scan.
This isn’t to say that had Corben been a girl I would have been disappointed or would have loved a baby girl any less, in fact I’m positive I’d have loved them as dearly as I do my son. I just had visions of being a dad to my very own mini-me. I guess I was in a more stereotypical frame of mind, apparently men are more likely to want a boy and women to want a girl, not sure that’s true though if I’m honest. In my case however, it was.
When Donetta and I met, she came nicely packaged with not one, but two ready made daughters and I do wonder if that had an impact. Actually the more I think about it, it most definitely did. Had Donetta had two boys would I have leaned more towards hoping for a girl? I think the thought of completing the set as it were played a part, having two girls already in our very lucky life, meant that a boy would finish off our family unit nicely.
Truth be told, whenever I thought about kids even pre-Donetta I automatically imagined having a son before I did a daughter. I don’t think I have any real idea of why this is but I know it can be a touchy subject to discuss and I don’t hear many people admitting to leaning towards one sex or the other. Knowing that I felt this way means others will too and I wanted to share my truth as a form of letting other people know that it is normal to have such feelings.
Many people have said ‘You can’t say things like that‘ to which I reply ‘Why?!’ It should be a given that you hope and pray with every part of your body that your baby regardless of gender arrives safely and healthy, I don’t see the need to express that, it should be obvious. So when I say I wanted a boy I mean it as almost an added extra to the fact that I’m already getting the greatest present of all, a baby.
As I mentioned earlier about Corben finishing our family unit, we are still asked quite often if we’re going to have another child. I’ve written before about Why I don’t Want Another Child and was 100% sure at the point of writing that post over a year ago. However, let’s say another child was to surprise us and begin to grow in Donetta’s magical belly, I’d want a girl.
I have no qualms saying this at all, my preference would be a girl although I know I would love the absolute shit out of whatever popped out, as long as it wasn’t a Pug!
So my question for you, is it OK to hope for a specific gender when having a baby?
Thanks for reading
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