Home » IS IT OK TO HOPE FOR A SPECIFIC GENDER WHEN HAVING A BABY?

IS IT OK TO HOPE FOR A SPECIFIC GENDER WHEN HAVING A BABY?

IS IT OK TO HOPE FOR A SPECIFIC GENDER WHEN HAVING A BABY?

Everyone knows the obvious response of ‘As long as they’re healthy I really don’t care’ and that really should go without saying. But, is it OK to be hoping for a specific gender?

I’ll be straight up honest and tell you that once the shock had passed when discovering we were pregnant, I did hope for a boy. Some people are shocked when I admit this and others don’t get it, they reel off that famous sentence mentioned above. But, it’s how I felt, right up until about 16 weeks when we paid to find out early, I knew inside I was hoping there was a little tally-whacker on that first scan.

This isn’t to say that had Corben been a girl I would have been disappointed or would have loved a baby girl any less, in fact I’m positive I’d have loved them as dearly as I do my son. I just had visions of being a dad to my very own mini-me. I guess I was in a more stereotypical frame of mind, apparently men are more likely to want a boy and women to want a girl, not sure that’s true though if I’m honest. In my case however, it was.

When Donetta and I met, she came nicely packaged with not one, but two ready made daughters and I do wonder if that had an impact. Actually the more I think about it, it most definitely did. Had Donetta had two boys would I have leaned more towards hoping for a girl? I think the thought of completing the set as it were played a part, having two girls already in our very lucky life, meant that a boy would finish off our family unit nicely.

 

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Truth be told, whenever I thought about kids even pre-Donetta I automatically imagined having a son before I did a daughter. I don’t think I have any real idea of why this is but I know it can be a touchy subject to discuss and I don’t hear many people admitting to leaning towards one sex or the other. Knowing that I felt this way means others will too and I wanted to share my truth as a form of letting other people know that it is normal to have such feelings.

Many people have said ‘You can’t say things like that‘ to which I reply ‘Why?!’ It should be a given that you hope and pray with every part of your body that your baby regardless of gender arrives safely and healthy, I don’t see the need to express that, it should be obvious. So when I say I wanted a boy I mean it as almost an added extra to the fact that I’m already getting the greatest present of all, a baby.

As I mentioned earlier about Corben finishing our family unit, we are still asked quite often if we’re going to have another child. I’ve written before about Why I don’t Want Another Child and was 100% sure at the point of writing that post over a year ago. However, let’s say another child was to surprise us and begin to grow in Donetta’s magical belly, I’d want a girl.

I have no qualms saying this at all, my preference would be a girl although I know I would love the absolute shit out of whatever popped out, as long as it wasn’t a Pug!

So my question for you, is it OK to hope for a specific gender when having a baby?

Thanks for reading

David 🙂

I’M OVER ON INSTAGRAM IF YOU FANCY COMING OVER TO CHAT! YOU CAN ALSO KEEP UP WITH EVERYTHING DADVWORLD ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE 🙂

 

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4 Comments

  1. 9th October 2018 / 1:01 pm

    To answer your question – is it okay? – yes, why not. People are free to hope for whatever they want in life. At the end of the day, it’s something we can’t control (and something I hope the human race never will try to).

    Personally, I fall into the “couldn’t be fussed” group. I genuinely wasn’t bothered where we had a girl or a boy for baby number 1, 2, 3 or even 4! Actually, if you push me, by the time we had 3 girls and were surprised by a 4th pregnancy I might actually have leaned towards hoping for a girl, as that’s all I knew!

    • DadvWorld
      Author
      9th October 2018 / 3:26 pm

      It’s like when people don’t find out the gender at all, I admire these people to have the patience to do that, I 100% couldn’t wait to find out. It’s all personal preference. I find it really interesting to hear that even after 3 girls you would have, if anything, leaned towards another girl. I’d have been screaming out for a boy! Thanks Dave, appreciate you reading and commenting 🙂

  2. 9th October 2018 / 10:23 pm

    Of course it’s ok to hope for a specific gender. With the first, even though the scans said I was having a girl, I was still hoping for a boy. I was so hoping the scan was wrong! The main reason for wanting a boy is that I was due a year after I lost my Taid and I was hoping for a boy so I could name it after my Taid. But it ended up being a girl, and I loved her from the moment I saw her.

    As for the second, I was still hoping for a boy as I felt it would make us a complete unit. But from early on, even before the scan, I knew she was a girl and I was happy with that. Saved me money in the long run! 😉

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