It’s OK to cry Dad.

It’s OK to cry Dad.

I’ve never cried as much in all my life as I have since Corben was born and I’m not afraid to say. It’s been made well known that apparently Dad’s have a hard time showing their emotions and definitely don’t cry. Bullshit.

OK so pre-Corben I wasn’t really an emotional person at all. I didn’t cry at films and during any hard times life threw at me I never once felt tears well up in my eyes, not that I remember. I think any time I’d ever cried before was through anger.

Then at 6:49am on the 5th October 2012 the smallest human to enter my life made the biggest impact. He brought with him the key that has dramatically opened the door to my emotions. One phrase, one cuddle or even one look and the welling of tears begins. Could I hold it back? Do I even want to? Maybe that’s what has switched, maybe I just no longer care to hold back on the tears and emotions that now frequently flow from my eyes.

Throughout our pregnancy I tried to mentally prepare myself for fatherhood and tried to figure out as best I could how I wanted to do Dad-ing. Looking back now I prepared myself in the best way I knew how, I knew I wanted to do this and that, teach him X, Y and Z and I’m really happy that I did prepare myself mentally as much as physically. I mean everyone prepares themselves in regards pushchairs, cots, nappies and baby wipes, but do people maybe forget that your mentality needs to alter? Well I didn’t neglect the mental aspect of parenting but jeez no amount of prep work could be enough. Donetta could have been pregnant for 10 years ( Sorry Mum readers, I bet your neck twitched at that thought! ) and I still couldn’t have been ready for the emotional aspect of being a Dad.

You know those shows on TV where some lady has given 30 years to a group that help vulnerable people or something of that sort and her kids surprise her with a full home makeover, I have to think ‘Don’t cry’ to myself. I’ve even had an emotional conversation with one of the lads that resulted in me crying into a bottle of Kopparberg in the middle of a bar.Β You see what I mean. I’ve also noticed I really enjoy seeing people do well, either game shows on TV or in everyday life. I feel really good when I see someone else, even if I don’t know them, do well. Not that before I hated people winning on TV or anything, I’m just saying I’ve noticed it enough to now Google all of this.

That’s right, I’ve googled it. One day after having a cry at something I thought right, enough is enough, what’s wrong with me. I typed into Google ‘Heightened emotions after becoming a dad’. Go on, Google it….

 

Thousands of articles appear and I read a load of them. I’ve found that what I’m experiencing isn’t that uncommon for Dad’s, however I wish it was more common. Basically I found that Dad’s also experience hormonal changes and their brain chemicals and wiring also alter at the point of becoming a father. There have been various experiments on Mum’s and Dad’s and results show that Dad’s are affected in very much the same way as Mum’s are. Obviously not in the apparent physical sense, we know that a woman’s body does the main grafting….

This is a good thing isn’t it? I’d like to see more of these experiments or at least more Dad’s breaking free from the stereotypical image society has built over history. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, crying isn’t just for girls, crying doesn’t make you inferior to anyone else.

I cried at Tom Fletcher’s wedding speech, however you come and upset my family and I wouldn’t fancy your chances, there’d be tears alright, but for once, not mine.

 

Have a cry then comment, let me know what you’ve cried at. Something silly, something funny or in an embarrassing place. Comment, message, Tweet, whatever….

Tweet me @dadvworld and HashTag #ItsOKToCryDad

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16 thoughts on “It’s OK to cry Dad.”

  • I have definitely became more emotional after becoming a dad, I’m still not crier, but I seem to more affected by sad stories, I’ll tell my OH its my hormones.

  • I definately cry much more since becoming a mother. I would have liked my husband to cry when we got married or when I had his first child but sadly not even a wimper let alone a tear escaped from him but he is something a kin to a robot (his words not mine) he’s rather proud of his robotness (I couldn’t think of a better word). We’ve been together 8 years now and I have never seen him cry. He put his back out a while ago and it looked like he came close but emotionally he always has been and always will be a robot *sigh*

    #stayclassy

  • I must admit that this post hit home: The biggest change for me personally is probably feeling happy for others’ successes. Where before I might appreciate hard work or good fortune on an intellectual level, when it came to emotions I think I subconsciously resented achievements that weren’t my own. At the very least, I just didn’t really engage. Just another way being a dad makes me a better version of myself!
    TJA

    • The opening line of your comment has made blogging worth while for me! The fact I’ve written something and it’s relevant to someone else is amazing to me! I really like the thought that the right people to have in your life are people that make you a better you. My wife did that then the kids take it to a new level. Thanks for your comment my friend! πŸ˜ƒ

  • My daughter’s dad was different. I saw him cry many times during our relationship, even before our daughter was born. It was strange for me because I’d never been with a man who was so willing to be honest with his emotions, and at first I found it hard to cope with seeing a man cry. But even now that our relationship has ended we can still cry to each other and know that we will be supported.

    • That’s just beautiful. Can’t say I’ve even come across a separated couple that can still cry and support together. That’s special!! πŸ˜ƒ

  • Hahah I LOVE that you have admitted this. I think a lot of Dads would hide this because society does, in a way, make it unacceptable for men to cry. I actually googled “heightened emotions after becoming a Dad” and as you said, a lot of scientific articles came up! Really interesting that the man changes chemically too! I actually believe that my other half had sympathy pregnancy. ; ) I also have been crying way more since the baby was born, even at those silly pampers commercials – whaaaattt! I think I need to do a Google on Moms too. ; ) Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!

    • Haha! Glad you googled it!! Everyone involved is definitely effected. More men should just be honest, many will cry but never admit it. Where’s the harm in a little cry, makes me feel better πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ Thanks for the linky, I’d never done it before!

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