This title suggests I’m about to talk like a grown up. I wrote the title and thought, ‘Am I grown up enough for this?’
Despite the skinny jeans, that aren’t that skinny and the snapbacks, I am 31 married and proud owner (that’s not the right word) of 3 children. So I guess I must know something about something.
I’ve only been a married man for 2 and a bit years but I reckon I’ve cracked it. That’s a statement and a half isn’t it, I can hear your eyeballs starting to read faster and your brain saying ‘What magical wizardry are we about to learn from this superhuman that claims to have cracked marriage’.
I’ll be honest, it’s pretty simple stuff that you’ll have heard before but most likely haven’t implemented into your relationships for one reason or another. In fact, I’m going to cut it short and just give you one simple thing to try that I believe will either transform, help or further improve your marriage.
Make time for yourselves. That’s it, see you in the next one…
Just kidding, I will elaborate a little as to why and where this post has come from.
When I started DadvWorld it was purely about me, hence the ‘Dad’ part. Donetta was never bothered about sharing our lives so in depth online or with anyone really. Also, neither of us actually knew what a blog was or what it could become, so Donetta’s thinking was more about focusing on her current job… The one that actually pays the bills!
Now 18 months later Donetta is really involved in the day to day of DadvWorld and heavily involved on our social media channels, in particular Instagram. As our following has grown, DadvWorld has become slightly less ‘Dad’ and more ‘Family’vWorld. Although that’s a rubbish name so we wouldn’t change it. (Sorry if there’s a FamilyvWorld out there :/) But, my point is that people are now seeing not only my Dad life on social media, but our marriage too. We’ve done several Instagram Live sessions, we film YouTube videos together and there’s been a noticeable increase in comments made towards us as a couple. All positive I should add.
It’s these such comments that got me thinking and the thinking has led to writing and here we are. Now I’m not showing off saying we have the perfect marriage or claiming we know something everyone else doesn’t, I’m merely sharing my thought process as to how we do work so well together… Most of the time 🙂
I’d like to think that the David and Donetta you see in what is realistically a tiny window of our life, is pretty much the David and Donetta we are off camera. I mean minus the little ‘discussions’ and ‘debates’ we have now and again. They do happen, but also happen on camera now and again!
We have so many responsibilities and commitments that weeks can fly by so quickly. Weeks turn into months in the blink of an eye and we, as I’m sure many of you reading, realise that we’ve had no quality time together for far too long.
This is the secret!
Recognising this is stage one of the secret. Stage two, the final stage, is acting on it!
We were lucky enough to be invited down to an event in London by Hello Fresh this week and we pounced on this as our opportunity to spend some quality time together. They key word there being QUALITY. We spend lots of time together but a lot of it is sorting kids out and work. In an evening we will watch Youtube videos whilst working through emails and preparing Instagram posts and YouTube videos, but that’s not quality time despite actually enjoying it.
I’d been speaking with a very luxurious looking restaurant too called Bar + Block, who happened to be right next to Kings Cross Station where we’d be arriving on our trip to London. They said they’d love for us to and fill our faces and drink cocktails at their gaff whilst we were down their way. So it all fitted nicely together.
We arranged all the kids and the dog to bugger off for the day/night and that was that, we had a date set just for the two of us down in the big smoke!
Now, we only had time to get down to London, hit Bar + Block and attend the Hello Fresh event before jumping on the train back up here ready for real life to kick back in the following morning. This is where QUALITY time is important. We literally had 12 hours of free time, just the two of us and we took full advantage… Not like that, calm down.
We jumped on the train, did a whole host of cool things before getting back on the train to come home in the early hours. If you want to know exactly what we did then lucky you, we vlogged it > LONDON 20-9-17
A full day of husband and wife time, doing practically as we pleased. It was amazing.
We were doing activities we enjoyed, we were doing things that would usually be 10 times more stressful with kids around and most importantly, we were being best mates again. I think in the day to day world it’s easy to forget the little things that brought you together in the first place, that charming whit (As I call it, Donetta DOES NOT) is replaced with sarcasm and patience is often out the window. Take away the responsibilities of normal everyday life and suddenly that sarcasm returns to charming whit and you feel as though you have all the time in the world to laugh and enjoy each other again.
So there it is. No special potion required, it’s not magical nonsense, it’s simplicity at it’s best.
Make time for you and your partner NOW.
Do you have any marriage tips or questions to ask Donetta and I? Let us know on Instagram @dadvworld
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