Well where do we start with this now it’s 1940. Hang on, it’s 2017 so let’s stop with this utter bullshit.
I was listening to the radio this morning and there was a segment discussing one of the presenters taking their child to ‘stay and play’. Basically like an introduction day ready for when they start nursery in September. The presenters asked people to call in and reassure her that it was going to be OK. She was ‘naturally’ anxious as all parents are about their children starting school.
It was all very tongue in cheek stuff to begin with. It did cross my mind that it was heavily ‘Mums taking their children to school’, rather than parents but they were discussing the mum presenter, so that’s OK.
Then a lady called in…
She spoke about having several children go through this particular scenario and that she cried each time as it was a normal type of reaction. Agreed. Then, far too easily something along the lines of ‘It’s more natural for Mums to show their emotions than Dads’ dropped out of her mouth!
I’m not easily offended by the whole Mums v Dads nonsense I see so much online. I think I wrote a little about that in this post http://dadvworld.com/are-we-too-easily-offended/
However, I think the fact it just came out in such a blase way is what really got me. As if it was just something people say rather than said with true conviction. I don’t think for a single minute that the lady was making an actual statement, in her mind it probably just suited the conversation as she was speaking with two men and a woman.
That’s the problem.
It’s been the norm for mums to be the main caregivers and dads to put food on the table in the past, but guess what, it’s 2017 the world has moved on and passing, throw away comments such as this need to move on with it.
I’m a Dad. I do the school run everyday. You know that because I squeeze in a bit of Instagram LIVE 🙂
I took Corben to his first day at nursery and I cried relentlessly. I sat on a little fence outside of the nursery and sobbed my heart out, in front of the bin-men that were collecting in that area too. Was I embarrassed, ashamed or did I find it hard/harder than a mum would, CERTAINLY NOT! I had just handed my kid over to what are in reality strangers, to look after him for the day. I was upset, anxious and undecided about the future of such scenarios. Since becoming a Dad I’m hugely emotional, more about that here too – http://dadvworld.com/its-ok-to-cry-dad/
As I said earlier, I don’t get offended by much but this morning I guess the manner of the comment and the comment itself struck a nerve. I’ve posted this on social media and so far everyone that’s commented is firmly in my corner. I will never have anyone tell me, or include me in a generalisation that dads, men aren’t as naturally inclined to show emotion as mums/women.
Everyone is different. Sure there are dads that struggle showing emotions as there are mums too, so don’t tar a certain gender with the same brush. When it comes to emotions I don’t view the subject based on gender, I view it based on people. Anxiety, depression, happiness, guilt, joy, love – Feelings don’t have the function to only hit certain genders. Emotions don’t care who or what your label is. They all hit everyone at some point, it’s then the individual that processes and deals with them in their own way, the individual person. Not mum or dad, man or woman… The person.
Let me know your thoughts… @dadvworld