No work today then?
When you’re sat in the barbers and the second question you get after they’ve put that awful gown over you that always rubs on your neck is ‘No work today then?’. The first question is obviously ‘So what you having then?’ whilst they strangle you with that gown thing!
See I don’t go for my hair cut if I can help it on a Saturday, to which I’d then only be greeted with the question, ‘You going out tonight then?’, why do they always say ‘then’ at the end or is this a Yorkshire thing maybe, sounds friendlier I don’t know. I usually try and get in early morning in the week when it’s really quiet and we don’t have to do that whole who’s turn is it first and one dick always jumps up when you know you had arrived before him. In the week, Monday-Friday though of course it’s only natural to assume I should be at work, I suppose. I’m taking it as a compliment because it would be an easier assumption looking at some of the scrotes you see in Doncaster that you don’t work so at least I must look employable. When asked the question ‘No work today then?’ I’ve tried several responses and studied the reactions. The definitive answer is just ‘No’, but they’ve only asked to make conversation and it’s an unwritten rule that you have to play along.
‘No, I’m a stay at home Dad’. Is the response I tend to go with now, I said this to a female hairdresser and I glared into the mirror looking for her reaction as I knew she wasn’t expecting that answer. Her eye-brows raised and a surprised expression followed. ‘Oh right’, was all I got in response before an awkward silence. Not a fan of the silence I then joked ‘Yeah, I send her to work’ to which she laughed, but one of those forced laughs when she was really thinking, what if the scissors slipped right near his ear. I’ve gotten used to this situation, think about it, a man that stays at home while the wife goes out to put food on the table, well that’s just wrong isn’t it? It’s not. Read this again and swap the genders around so the hairdresser is cutting a woman’s hair and she mentions she looks after the little one’s and sends the husband out to work. The response would be jovial, they’d laugh together, a genuine laugh as that is the norm isn’t it.
Another one is when family turn up for a visit. It always comes up in conversation what the dynamics are currently with who’s looking after who and who’s working where. I’ve tried lately, ‘I’m a blogger’. No-one get’s it. I then have to explain to faces filled with confusion that I’m hoping to write fantastic articles and send them to the internet in the hope that one day someone will think I have an ounce of writing talent and pay me to write about something else. I may as well say, ‘I’m currently building a space shuttle in the back garden and once I’ve filled it with Skittles I’m going to explore Jupiter’.
Friends are much the same, bare in mind my friends and I are still only 29 and thirty and we’re blokes, so when I tell them I’m hoping to become a writer and I’m currently blogging while the Mrs goes to work each day looking after adults with learning disabilities something I used to do that’s 100% a fulfilling amazing job, they say ‘So you’re pissing about on the internet between playing housewife?’
Channel 4 I think it is do those documentaries on changing perceptions. Has there been one on Men at Home, along those lines? I could Google it I suppose but I want your interaction 😀
Everytime I get asked the question about what I do I’m in an awkward place at the moment, they mean how do I make money to feed and cloth my children and my response in their terms is, absolutely nothing. I mean I know that I wake up every morning at 6am get a 3-year-old ready for the day, make 2 separate school drops, wash up, clean up, walk the dog, teach the boy something valuable like don’t put his hands in his wee and flick it up the walls before having to then travel again to 2 different schools to collect the kids, make tea for everyone followed by more washing up, AND somewhere in the middle of all this piss about on the internet!!!