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Who looks after your child?

Who looks after your child?

After a very healthy debate on social media, I decided to release this a little earlier than I first planned. Hearing this morning that childcare costs in Yorkshire are approx £198 a week and roughly £337 a week in London, I posted a status questioning why it was so costly and should we bring our own children up anyway? I’ve read some great idea’s and opinions and can’t argue any of them.

View 1

I decided to have my children, so it’s only right I raise them myself. I don’t want to put them into childcare while I work for several reasons. Firstly it’s far too expensive, the amount I’d have to pay out with or without help via benefits just isn’t worthwhile. Even if I was still better off financially it wouldn’t be by enough to persuade me it’s worth missing that time at home with my child. There are fantastic people working in the childcare industry but, you can’t replace the natural love and care of a parent, it’s impossible.

My child being at home with me will receive my undivided attention as opposed to being one of many at a childminders or nursery. There will be only my influence and the influences I allow into our environment, at nursery they’re open to outside influences I can’t control. It would eliminate any confusion on who is the primary carer, I wouldn’t be offloading them to someone else for several hours to another figure of authority. I also like to know should any errors occur, they are my errors which I can learn from and accept responsibility for, there would be no chance of others making errors due to a workload of children or lack of experience. I don’t want to have to blame anyone else for any accidents/incidents. We will have to count the pennies and cut back a little but we will manage.

Mainly, I won’t get these years again. In the grand scheme of things, what’s a handful of years in our lives, to take out from work schedules and just spend time loving, learning and experiencing the world together with my child? Genuinely a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. OK we might have less money but what price can you put on this experience, how much does a childhood cost?

View 2

I want to lead by example for my child. I want my child to see me and see that if you work hard you will achieve in life. A strong work ethic is vital in today’s age as there are far too many that won’t work. I don’t want my child to fall into that bracket. I will make sure I scout all the local nurseries and childminders and make sure my child attends the best one, where they are well looked after and have the opportunity to learn and interact with other children regularly. I can’t afford to take time out from work because there’s the mortgage/rent to pay, all the bills and life in general is more costly now than it’s ever been.

Building a career will enable me to give my child a good start to life. Not only will we have the money for living costs but we can afford holidays and days out where my child will learn and experience things we maybe wouldn’t be able to afford if I quit work. I can put aside some money to help put them through driving lessons and buy their first car. We will be able to pass on the house too, or at least help them to get a foot on the property ladder which ever increasingly difficult for young people now.

Mainly I just want to offer my child the best start in what is a difficult and tough world, my sacrifices now will prove benefits for the future.

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I would imagine most if not all of this has crossed your mind. Can anyone tell me which is the right way? Exactly, there isn’t one. I think either of these decisions are fine, it all depends on your personal circumstances. There’s probably another 3 thousands options out there but I can’t write about them all. There’s several compromises of all these choices too. Our personal situation is that I stay at home (Doing nothing) all day whilst my wife works full time. We have to count every penny but we get by. I think the 2 variations above are a mix of all the thoughts I had. I want to raise the youngest who’s only 3 myself rather than using nurseries, but I also want him to know work ethic is vital and I want us as parents to lead by example too. This is what works for us. We have 3 children and X amount of outgoings, other people may have more children and more outgoings or less and more or more and less….. You get what I’m saying! The amount of variations in life make it absolutely impossible to have a single decision that’s right for everyone.

If you include all the thoughts and decisions we need to make as adults let alone parents, house prices, buying or renting. The cost of living today is outrageous!

For me this is why parenting is the toughest gig in the world. We parents have zero experience, no training, no rule book and we’re thrown in the deep end without arm bands and given the largest chunk of responsibility we’ll ever experience.

The over-riding factor from all this though, is all parents want to do is what’s best for their children and that above all else has to be the priority and thankfully in most families it is.

Thanks for reading, whether you learn anything or find anything interesting on my posts is a different story, but damn I feel better getting all this out of my brain and into the internet world, I can have breakfast now!

 

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6 Comments

  1. DANNY AGAR
    14th April 2016 / 11:08 am

    good points for thought

  2. 4th May 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I totally agree with view 1, coming from a home educator im sure your suprised 🙂 we are also fortunate to be able to do view 2 at the same time by working from home, with my hubby in uni and starting up a business things are tight and we might not have those things right away house, holidays etc but eventually we will. Best of both worlds maybe? However id always choose view 1 personally.

    • DadvWorld
      Author
      5th May 2016 / 3:06 pm

      Thanks for reading!! Yes I think some common ground between the two is the best outcome. It sounds like you will be able to offer a great mix with your situation and after all its all about benefiting the little ones! 🙂

  3. ravenswingthog
    18th May 2016 / 9:02 pm

    Great post, and the two views are both totally understandable – we went for view 2, we wanted our kid to get the opportunity to socialise with other children from a young age, and not to see us as the centre of the universe, but there’s all the downsides of that too!

    • DadvWorld
      Author
      18th May 2016 / 9:05 pm

      I think a mixture of both is a fair plan. But life generally determines what is best for each individual family. There’s no rule book.

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